![Return to the keep on the borderlands maps](https://knopkazmeya.com/2.png)
![return to the keep on the borderlands maps return to the keep on the borderlands maps](https://i.imgur.com/sqmIYZXl.jpg)
Stop reading the module, you wretched human.īut if you’re the DM, you get to learn what an amazing, god-like figure you are. If you’re a player, the cake tastes like whatever the DM says it tastes like. But damn, give me two cups of adventure, a tablespoon of magic, and a dash of monsters! Mix that up with a can of imagination and 8 ounces of heroism! Bake in the oven of imagination for 3 hours and serve with a side of uncommon pursuits! Okay Keep on the Borderlands Introduction Section, you’ve got me hungry! What does this delicious module of fun-cake taste like? This is the realm of DUNGEONS & DRAGONS® Adventure Game.ĭoesn’t this sound great? Imagination, magic, monsters, adventure, and heroism? That’s a set of fake measurements away from being one of those lame recipe speeches that high school valedictorians and PTA members always reach for when they realize that they have nothing meaningful to say. You are about to begin a journey into worlds where magic and monsters are the order of the day, where law and chaos are forever at odds, where adventure and heroism are the meat and drink of all who would seek their fortunes in uncommon pursuits. I'll dive into the first few pages of the module in our next installment: Of Owlbears and Introductions. It was a tree though, and couldn’t actually fly, so it didn’t really do anything about it. The Flying Tree woke from its dream with a new perspective on life. He was killed two months later by a magic missile. Jumpy Justshields decided to drastically change things after the dream showed him the ineffectiveness of his favorite combat strategy, and started using two shields instead of just one. He enrolled in an experimental student exchange program with a halfling from Derbyshire, but the program was terminated after the halfling was eaten and Dog-Legs was brutally murdered by Dirk Goodlaw, Paladin of the Silver Star. Unable to forget about the horrific violence in the dream, Dog-Legs McMonster left his family's business of pillaging and being evil. He never got the chance to learn about proper shield placement.
![return to the keep on the borderlands maps return to the keep on the borderlands maps](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/ihSnwEeozME/maxresdefault.jpg)
He got his girlfriend pregnant on fantasy prom night, was kicked out of the house by his parents, and spent the rest of his life supporting his family as a mildly successful used wagon salesman. Sandals Jockstrap went on to be captain of the football team at Adventurer High. He spent ten years in and out of monster rehab before dying of complications from having jacked up legs. A life of constantly falling over, combined with an overpowering fear of forgetting his bow, drove von Wrongfeet to a crippling pixie dust addiction. Unfortunately, Monster von Wrongfeet never found out about the Spearman Foot Replacement Foundation. He now spends his time helping disabled monsters at the Spearman Foot Replacement Foundation. Shaken by his experience, Spearman dropped out of adventuring school and enrolled in the reconstructive medicine program at Bixby University. He hung up his bow and arrows and went on to become one of the most successful giant hand models of his generation. I've done some research, and I've discovered what happened to all of these figures after they woke up from their shared nightmare:Īfter the dream, Giant Archer Guy was relieved to find that he still had both hands. What they don't show you in this picture is how in just a second, all of these combatants are going to notice that none of them are actually standing on anything or casting any shadows, and that's when they'll realize it's all a dream. He probably should have noticed that Dog-Legs McMonster is wielding a spear with a head about as long as his entire torso, but in his defense Dog-Legs' daring tactic of gluing his shield strap to the back of his hand instead of holding it is really distracting. Spearman's be-sandaled ally seems to have skipped the Put The Shield In Front Of You lesson at adventurer school, and is about to pay the price. It's probably the difficulty of having his feet on the wrong legs that keeps him from entering these battles properly equipped. Moving on, we see a spear-wielding person fighting a deformed monster who forgot the bow that goes with his quiver of arrows, and has resorted to using a hammer the wrong way. I don't like to blame the victim, but that monster kind of had it coming. Luckily, he appears to have psychic powers and has lodged a miniature arrow in the chest of the floating monster that decided to bring only a shield to a giant-archer-fight. The giant archer figure's foot is being attacked by some kind of flying tree, causing him to forget that his right arm ends just below his deformed elbow. Ignoring the lack of a Keep or borderlands, we'll focus on the strange floating figures placed haphazardly on top of some brown lumps.
![Return to the keep on the borderlands maps](https://knopkazmeya.com/2.png)